All three kids are in school a significant portion of the day so I thought taking on a hefty contracting job would be manageable. I am managing the work life balance but have also realized in the process, caring for 3 children, 1 with ASD is a true BALANCING act.



When the oldest was younger, I managed a 40-hour a week home program, drove and picked up 2 days a week for speech therapy, drove and picked up 2 days a week for occupational therapy, versed myself in IDEA, submitted explanation of benefits every week to my insurance company for reimbursement, participated in group meetings, revised and created behavioral plans, participated in feeding therapy, AND took care of the girl and the baby who was a newborn.

When the oldest got older - he went to school. This meant more time at the school attending IEPS, advocating for my son as they tried to eliminate services, stand outside the classroom to make sure IEP goals were being implemented, meeting with the teachers.

What was I thinking going back to work? I just stay up later at night to do my advocacy research, write my letters to the school, and sneak away from work a couple of days a week to peek in the oldest's classroom. HOWEVER, a few hours a week, I get to walk away from the world of autism and have a work task that has a beginning, middle , and for the first time in a long time - an END. (Plus the money ain't bad either)

The oldest has an annoying habit of blurting out BOOBIES whenever he burps. 8 year old boys burp a lot.

{burp} BOOBIES send the girl into a frenzy complete with shrieks and tears. The whole thing is just a big scene that makes me angry. After lots of burps and boobies, I sat down to analyze why it made me so mad.


BOOBIES - I once had a beautiful, round, full, and perky set of those. 3 pregnancies and years of nursing took them away. I am now left with tube socks with rocks at the bottom hanging off my chest.

No wonder the burp and BOOBIES make me so mad – the oldest is almost taunting me on the loss of my Bodacious Ta Tas.

Here are a few ways I incorporate wellness into my life:

Workout Daily
Workout four to five days a week and get your body moving and heart rate elevated, even if only for 20 minutes. When my children were younger, I joined gyms that provided childcare—many gyms offer this perk to entice parents to join. On-site day care allowed me the time to work out and enjoy a steam and shower afterwards, so that I would be in a very peaceful mood by the time I picked up the kids. Now that my children are older, I try to fit in a quick run or escape to the gym while they are at school. If work does not permit that, then I run at night once my husband gets home. On the weekends, we switch off with childcare so each of us can get in some exercise.

Take a Quick Spa Trip
Mani/pedi treatments are a quick and inexpensive way to take a break, and for a little extra you can get a much-needed hand or foot massage. If I have made it through my weekly to-do list, I treat myself with a Friday afternoon mani/pedi. It’s a great way to prepare for the weekend—as you moms know, weekends are harder without school to stimulate your children.

Stay Out of the Sun
Sunscreen is essential to any health regimen. Sun exposure causes premature wrinkles, freckling, skin irritation, and can lead to skin cancer. I keep a roll-on sunscreen in my kitchen by the toaster and put it on my face (year round) while making the kids breakfast.

Exercise with Your Kids
Move with your kids—once a day, engage them in an activity that is not sedentary. Physical activity is good for their nervous systems and good for your health and wellbeing. Take them for a vigorous walk (stroller included), go for a swim, play a game of twister or musical chairs, play hide-and-seek, have a relay race with an obstacle course, or make up a new game. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you get those little and big bodies moving.

Soak in the Tub
Baths have numerous physical and mental benefits. I usually wait to take a soak until after the kids are in bed, otherwise the little one will inevitably end up in the bath with me—and there goes relaxation. Put those kiddies to bed, slap on a facial masque, light some aromatherapy candle, toss in some bath soaps, and prepare to soak your stress away. As an extra bonus, have your partner join you.

Take a Break from Your Kids
Find a college student you trust, make her your best friend, dress your kids cutely, and invite her over so she will fall in love with them. Then offer her money to watch your kids and run out the door before she knows what hit her. Seriously, I can’t stress how important it is to have time away from your kids. It is healthy for you and healthy for them.
My babysitter arrives during the dinner hour and rescues me from the cooking, cleaning up, food spitting and whining. Then my husband and I are free to catch a movie, work out, eat out, or meet friends for drinks. I also use the babysitter when my husband is out of town and I need some extra help with childcare. If she isn’t available, I invite a girlfriend over for a glass of wine—adult interactions are so important. If you have a special needs child, check with your state because you may be eligible for respite care from someone trained to take care of your child.

Monday, February 22, 2010 10:09:03 AM

Autism is a way of life. It has meant new friends, supportive communities, a new perspective on life, and a respect for my other children for the empathy and understanding they have beyond their young years. Autism especially means my oldest.


My oldest is autistic. An autistic, beautiful, intelligent, innocent boy that is my son. He has brought me such joy since the day he was born. I respect his work ethic - he works harder than anyone I know to overcome obstacles and challenges most of us can not even imagine. I am in awe of my oldest and how far he has come and look forward to the future as he keeps accomplishing so much and defies the expectations of so many specialists years ago that made Autism seem like a dirty word.