Hi and welcome to the first post of “Time Out for Moms”!  I’m Gina Badalaty, and I’m the mother of two lovely daughters with two very different disabilities, happily married, and a long time blogger.

At Time Out for Moms, I’ll share tips on how to find time for yourself, while raising children whose needs outweigh those of neurotypical children.  Nine years ago, my Amelia was born.  We did no prenatal testing, so we were alarmed to discover that she had a rare form of Down syndrome called Mosaicism.  We were scared, and didn’t know what the future would hold. 

Some weeks later, we discovered she had a hole in her heart.  We watched her every breath for months, and I brought my angel baby to regular MRIs and echocardiograms. 

During my early days of motherhood, I suffered 8 months of depression, partly because of her diagnosis and partly because we had relocated and my husband was commuting long distances to work, leaving me alone in a strange place. As Amelia developed near or slightly behind her peers, her infectious smiles and giggles went a long way toward healing me.  This girl was a treasure, and once I realized that, my depression lifted and I began to enjoy being a parent.

My second daughter, Zoe, was born 2 years later.  She never slept well, but it was not until 18 months old that we suspected something was wrong.  Her speech was very delayed.  At 2, she was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder, and the following year, PDD-NOS (or autism) was added to her diagnosis.  You’d think I’d have matured enough by then to “get over it,” but I shed my share of tears for Zoe as well. 

And then I got over myself, and got on with life, which demanded every moment of my attention, it seemed.  Raising my girls, who were night and day, could be hair-raising at times.  We relocated a second time and directly after that, Zoe started walking – and climbing on everything!  We learned the value of unreachable door latches and doggie gates to keep our little girl from wandering, and pounded and repounded sight words into Amelia after as we mainstreamed her as much as possible into school.  There was the “penny incident” (Amelia ingested a penny) and the paint incident (Zoe coated herself – and the carpet – with a bucket of lilac wall paint) and we won’t even mention the failed dog experiment (never get a puppy when you have a kid in diapers).

But at other times, there was the gentle beauty of life in this slightly slower lane, kisses, head butts of love, and the ability of Barney to inspire a nonverbal child to sing.  Every day is an adventure (or misadventure), and no matter what we’ve been through, or what’s to come, I wouldn’t change my family for the world.

I would, however, change some choices I made.  Early on, I forgot that “me time” is not only essential for your own sanity, but necessary to keep you calm enough to raise your children well, to enjoy the chaos they bring into your life, and to save your marriage.  I learned that a sense of independence and the joy of using my talents professionally brought me balance and helped others navigate parenthood more easily as well.  I’m also giving my children a clear message to follow their dreams, live as independently as possibly, and love yourself as much as those you cherish.

That’s what “Time Out for Mom” is all about.  I know that life is crazy.  Heck, not only do I have my family, a career, a blog, and the insufferable drudgery of biomedical therapy to deal with, I’ve also got tons of laundry, friends who could use my help, and my kids’ future to worry about.  It hasn’t been easy, and there have been seasons stuck inside, but taking time for myself, my marriage and my passions – things outside raising my children – has made me a better mother.

Whether you have 5 minutes or 5 hours of free time in a week, it’s essential to stop and smell the roses, kick back, or do something you really like.  (There’s only so much Barney a woman can take, after all!)  One of the hardest things is finding childcare so you can spend a little bit of much-deserved time away from your kids.  Next week I’ll tackle some tips finding child care that will leave you sane, secure, and happily taking minutes – or even hours – away from your little ones.