I often hear the phrase "That parent is in denial"

I have come up with my own phrase and that is that "each of us gets there at our own time"

It wasn't so much that I was a mother in denial, my friends will tell you I was not. It just was that I couldn't quite comprehend the consequences of my daughters cerebral palsy. You see, I had never met anyone as disabled as Audra would be. It was hard to look at this perfect little girl with ten fingers and ten toes and "get" that she would never walk, or sit up, or crawl.

I have come to learn over the years that sometimes denial is a good thing. Sometimes it is a coping method that works well when we are on overload.

It took time for me to absorb the extent of Audra's disability and to cope with it.

It was a difficult journey, I loved my child and to my mind to not accept her disability would be like not loving a part of her.

It wasn't until her death many years later that I would come to terms with what my truth really was. It was okay for me to love my child, but to hate her disability, what it took from her was cruel and although it's journey was rewarding and filled with gifts it still took a toll on all of our lives.

I learned that a person and a disability are two different things, separate from one another..............